When I told Mum about Dad’s 12-hour adventure getting to London yesterday, including a motorbike breakdown, 7-hour wait at Peterborough services and Caravan Club recovery, she was all sighs and bless him comments. That was until I told her what car he’d got as a replacement – the thought of a Vauxhall Insignia being his rescue option had her in hysterics!
Now I’ll be first to admit I’ve never liked my parents’ car – it’s heavy, unresponsive, sluggish, unreliable and handles like a wet sponge. But the one we’ve got for Spain is a vast improvement. According to the rental agreement, it’s a Sports Tourer (that’s an estate, to the rest of us) but it’s got character!
So I have a habit of naming inate objects. My laptops and tablets have all been named after Bond girls: Vesper… Domino… Solitaire… My cars have all had names: FiFi Le Focus… Jimi (my first A3)… Xenia (my Merc)… Toni (my TT – hairdresser’s car)… my beloved Bruno (the Black edition)… and his SatNav, Stella…
So when Dad and I acquaint ourselves with the SatNav in the Insignia today, we decide she needs a name.
Vauxhall is part of General Motors, which is American, so we think the SatNav lady should be named after a memorable American female; an icon of her era, someone whose voice was distinctive, a key feature of her persona, someone who commanded authority, who people listened to, someone whose company we’d enjoy, have fun with, have a laugh with… Got it!
Ladies and gentlemen – meet Roseanne…